ME19four: life, faith and role-playing games
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
  Close to the Edge
(Category: Life, Faith)

Not the wonderful album from Yes, but simply a statement of fact. Three and a bit years in, three and half years of feeling that I'm getting nowhere fast (or slow for that matter), I'm nearly ready to quit. It's not a lack of potential, it's a lack of resources, both human and financial. I feel like I'm running on empty, lacking any drive and really don't know what to do.

It's not a plea for help, although it does rather feel as if Jesus is asleep in the boat. Prayers would be appreciated, of course.
 
Comments:
Prayers winging their way to you. It's always seemed a problem with the clergy life, to me - the role as provider of support, encouragement and teaching can make it hard to receive those things yourself.

pax et bonum
 
Prayers from here too, of course.
Do hope you have some good people around to listen and actually HEAR what you are saying...and a little bit of practical support offered might not be bad either.
Have you been to Sheldon? Good place at times like this, - and many others.
Love and more prayers xx
 
You've hit the nail on the head there Kathryn. Yes I have a number of people who will listen, and who do hear, but the root issue is one of practical support, or the lack of it. Despite being touted as a Church Plant we're not. We're the minister and family trying to build from scratch. For various reasons, including my own mistakes, the locals who were expected by the Diocese to work with me haven't, aren't and won't (to the degree necessary), leaving our resources split, our witness divided and me and the family personally worn out.

I had a good week at Sheldon just before Christmas, the upshot of which was "it's up to you to look after yourself", and now after a lot of thought, and an ongoing Diocesan review, I'm beginning to think that the best way for us as a family, and for the long-term future in MLPK (I'm tempted to be cynical, but I shouldn't) would be for me to move over and give someone else a fresh chance. There are signs of hope, but I'm more and more of the opinion that maybe we've done our part.

The only way we could stay beyond the five year licence would be to take on added responsibility for two rural parishes, and that's not really what I came here for.

Failure? Maybe. We'll see. (And we will be at Greenbelt again, even if between posts!)
 
Oh dear...only just found this...Assuming I've not got the wrong address, I think I'll email you -but have another hug and a prayer here, just in case. And for heavens sake don't even think of allowing them to give you 2 rural parishes to add to the mix. Sometimes, despair seems not a sin but a perfectly reasonable reaction to the way the church behaves...
 
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To some he's the vicar, Reverend Stuart, on a mission to help people discover the open secret of eternal life. To others he is a writer, thinker, punster and drinking partner. He is Dr Moose - and these are some of his thoughts.

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Location: East Midlands, United Kingdom

Ten years or more of Higher Education, 7 years of Ordained Ministry in the Church of England... and now I'm managing to combine both, parish priest and university chaplain. It's a wonderful life. (Oh yes it is!)

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