Conversation wandered around, as they do, and got to matters of faith and church. After a while my friend said (words to the effect of) "I think you'd have more success if when people talked with you they were talking to the man, not the vicar." He then suggested that whenever I was in conversation matters of faith and church came up. Or more precisely, that I brought them up. "People might be more willing to come to you if they thought you would listen to them."
Yesterday afternoon I wasn't convinced that I could do anything about it. That it was just my way. I don't preach at people unless they come to "church" or talk faith unless people express an interest. And I didn't think that I was too bad at listening.
Now, after a few hours thinking, I'm not so sure.
My boss, Jesus, spoke a lot about faith, but he also showed it in terms of practical action. The welcoming of the stranger, the inclusion of the outcast, the healing of the sick. As Matthew 10:16 puts it he told his followers that he was " sending [them] out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves".
The 'mission' is given to us, as individuals without personal power. It is to be lived more than preached.
There is a saying attributed to St Francis of Assisi, "Preach the gospel to all mankind. Use words if you have to."
If the stories of faith growth in the Acts of the Apostles are to be believed then the nature and type of life the early church displayed were as powerful as (or maybe much more than) any charismatic and supernatural phenomena.
So, where does this leave me? If my friend is right, and I'm thinking more and more that he is, I have to learn to let God's Spirit work in conversation and my life. To learn to trust and discern the openings better, and see a longer view.
It's not the cop-out of saying that actions speak louder than words and then never acting any different to everyone else. One thing that was affirmed yesterday afternoon seemed to be that I was, much to my surprise, doing OK at the distinctiveness bit - rather encouraging.
If people ask, and give me a legitimate point of entry (like a baptism request), that's one thing.
Jumping in with my size 11s whenever I see a size 1 opening is another !
Our little girl is an endless source of joy and delight, frustration and despair. Any parent will be able to tell you that. Going through the “terrible twos” means that one minute she will be ecstatically leaping around, yelling “hallelujah” and waving her arms in the air, while the next she’ll be lying on the floor screaming “don’t want to! don’t want to!”
She may drive me to distraction – but it’s hard to fault the energy and enthusiasm – or not to smile as she has animated conversations with her teddy-bears.
Small children are not afraid of enjoying themselves. They don’t care too much about what others think – even when daddy is on the telephone.
Now, today I’m not about to suggest that you run around yelling at the top of your voice, or that you have a teddy-bears' tea party.
No, I just want to ask a couple of simple questions:
When did you last have a time of good, clean, unrestrained fun?
When did you last allow yourself to laugh – or help another to do so?
Because if you really can’t remember then I’d suggest something is wrong.
True, life might just be seriously unenjoyable at present. This happens and is perfectly normal. It’s why we need each others help – and might benefit from a word with “My Boss, Jesus” as I tell the kids at school.
But if you haven’t relaxed, played and laughed because you’re too important, too embarrassed or too proud – well think on this, and learn a secret:
Being an adult is knowing when you’re allowed to be a child.
So whatever else you do today – let the child inside you out to play.
The difficulty with writing a blog is that even though you know very few people will read it, you never quite know who those few are. Nevertheless I started this a way to clear my thoughts, and share them with anyone who wanted to know. So I'll keep going.
It's been a strange week so far, and it isn't over yet. Tea-Time Worship, our attempt at a family-friendly service, was thinly attended, although that isn't so unusual. It's still quite depressing though. If everyone came at the same time it would be a serious challenge to all fit in, but I'd rather have that than the low turnout and the feel of bleeding to death. (So if anyone reading this is an occasional visitor, please let me know why. Thank you.)
Tuesday was a day of confusions and chaos with me totally losing track of when Good Friday is and sending multiple emails to the Christians in the business community here and then having to send a further email to tell them to ignore the one I'd just sent. Add to that I found out that a meeting I absolutely have to be at is scheduled for the second day of my holiday, which will absorb precious holiday time and petrol as I have to make an extra return trip to Norfolk. Some good did come out of it though - it forced me to accept that the Filofax Parson's Pocket Book insert wasn't big enough and that the only way to make sure I kept my diary in order was to forget about using both the paper and the computer one and just go back to the good old brick: the Church Book & Desk Diary. (And how come it looks more like a Bible when carried around than a Bible?)
Wednesday had a very useful and enjoyable Chapter meeting looking at Stem Cell Therapy, Therapeutic Cloning and Reproductive Cloning and opening up the whole discussion on scientific ethics, where life begins, human capability and falleness etc. Maybe the comment that most stuck with me though arose from the host vicar as I left about the difficulty of engaging in mission in the contemporary context and the question of whether we are all trying to re-invent the wheel.
I drove home thinking about that. When I arrived here at the end of 2003 I had intended to take 6 months just building connections before starting anything, but other factors intervened, which led to the starting of Tea Time Worship. I'm not quite sure how, but I have a suspicion that qualifies as a Fresh Expression, although I think it's pretty tame and "safe." A way in for people beginning to think about faith, maybe for the first time in years, and as a means to pick-up and retain baptismal families. But it is a slow haul.
I just had this niggling feeling as I drove home that I might look back in 10 or 15 years time and regret that I hadn't spent the time as well as I could, that I hadn't taken enough risks in a new environment. Curacy is not really a good grounding for the role of Mission-Priest (or whatever you choose to call it). I know how to be a pastor, and enough about "running the ship", but not about "going fishing". I found myself questioning why, if as I have stated many times before, I believe you earn the right to speak the Gospel based on you relationships, why had I immediately started to try to clone a parish church here? Why have I tried to spread things so far as to stop me building the very relationships and bridges I need to make?
A good discussion in House Group last night pushed the thoughts further - to the point of the realisation that I am selling a product nobody thinks they need. Like trying to sell a pension to a billionaire, or even trying to sell an abacus when people want a computer. I meet plenty of folks full of the best intentions, but they never come to fruition as church, let alone faith, becomes one other leisure activity that we enjoy and will do when we have the spare time, maybe. It's not about marketing and packaging, I think it is the product itself.
Sometime back we were questioning whether Kings Hill needed a church building, and it would certainly have some advantages - some form of "concrete" presence in the built environment, a statement of the church's concern for the 6000 or so who live here, not to mention a facility we wouldn't have to book and could leave set up ready for use and have ample storage space. But I'm beginning to have second thoughts (or having the first ones again perhaps?) Even if the money were forthcoming to build it (and I am still no clearer on the source of it and the timescale) I'm not sure if we could really afford to run and maintain it. My post is fully subsidised and I am stipendiary. At some point a "share" will be requested and as yet we're not even meeting the minister's legitimate working expenses. Is it really reasonable to try to maintain a building too. It might be a wealthy place, but we aren't. Nationally, although we try to hide it, the church is in a decline that makes extinction a real possibility unless we evolve, and part of that evolution will probably one of scale. Kings Hill is hardly lacking in large houses for "church" to meet in.
I'm beginning to think I need to be far more radical, but I haven't quite cracked how. I know I need to lead. But it's taking a long time to come to the realisation that I am a leader. If I don't take the chances to do fresh things now I might never have the opportunity to do it again. (Although I mustn't be too negative - I caught myself this evening thinking that if I put all the energy that I put into Role-Playing Games into church then things would be a lot better. There are just two problems with that. I would cease to have a "life" - and with it a valuable contact with a the gaming sub-community, who need to discover Jesus too . But more importantly I do put that energy in already, and more, it's called being the Minister!)
Answers on a "comment" please...
¶ 8:44 pm 1 comments
(Thursday's "Thought for the Day")
Flowing water will always find the easiest way. A stream cant be bothered
with going up hills or taking the scenic route. It just takes the path of
least resistance, usually the mountain path you are using!
Lets be honest. Most of us are rather like water we choose the least
strenuous option too. Its far easier to go flow the flow than it is to
branch out and do something new. Facing resistance or opposition is even
more difficult. Thats when you need vision and resolution, to be informed
about the destination and have the willpower to get there.
But Im not thinking about physical effort. I'm more concerned with things
of the mind and the spirit.
The question today is What is it that drives you? What star do you sail by?
Whether thats a religious belief, a spiritual attitude or an ideological
position, where does yours come from? We all have them even if its just
the same as everyone else.
I meet all sorts of people but often the common factor is that most of them
dont really seem to know what they believe in any clearly defined sense.
To all intents and purposes, no matter how dedicated they are to their
work, their fitness or their families, they have no mental or spiritual rudder.
We often use the term agnostic. But an agnostic is someone who has
come to the reasoned conclusion that we cant really know.
What we often mean is something else - apathetic. We dont care
enough to find out.
If thats where you are, politically, religiously or in any other field
(like me and football), then lets be honest about it.
After all, it helps to know where you are before you set off on a journey.
¶ 7:54 am 0 comments
The article concerns the winner of this year's Templeton Prize, a sort of Theological 'Oscar', given for "progress towards research or discoveries about spiritual realities."
It notes:
He is credited in his nomination with "helping to create and sustain the dialogue between science and theology", and thus making "a profound contribution to the world's progress in understanding - and embracing - the wonder of God's creation". He himself says simply: "I've just had fun in my life trying to understand the universe and understand physics. I never really worked. I just play."
There are plenty of areas where I have never been able, willing or motivated to develop a personal theology (or at least enough to formalise it and write it down) but the sentiment struck a chord. I never really worked. I just play."
Whatever your take on Genesis, the Fall and so forth I thought Dr Townes remark was an interesting counter to the judgement meted out to Adam and the need for him to obtain his sustenance "by the sweat of... [his] brow"
It may be only a distant dream for so many, but surely it's an eloquent, even prophetic, vision for what work should be for each one of us. A rewarding, fulfilling and most importantly an enjoyable experience. Fun. Surely that is at least in part something that Jesus speaks about in John 10:10 - "I have come that they mayhave life, and have it to full."
And I can only rejoice in the realisation that being an ordained, stipendiary, minister is at best, such a vocation. Fun. I can only ask that God help me to help others discern how their gifts, talents and skills could be employed for the provision of their substance on a daily basis that amounts to such enjoyment.
(Not to mention reminding me of any harsh comments and judgements I may make of those around me who work far harder, and for far less satisfaction and enjoyment, than I experience.) ¶ 5:53 pm 0 comments
(Being Wednesday's "Thought for the Day")
A couple I know have a joke that they tell often. We are averagely healthy the husband says, She catches everything and I catch nothing!
I would say on the whole that I have been fortunate in never having to face a medical condition that threatened my life. I suspect that most of us would hope we never have to, although many of us will. Maybe being a priest I have a greater awareness of how often these things do happen.
Have you noticed how the people who are most motivated to live life to the full are those who've learnt just how precious it is? Its a knowledge that usually follows from a radical realisation of mortality an encounter with accident or illness that could so easily have killed them.
They have a sense of urgency that few of us possess. We all know that this life can't go on for ever, and the older we get the quicker it seems to go past. Yet it still seems to take a crisis experience to move the knowledge from the head to the heart.
We live in a culture that quietly tries to ignore mortality, but in doing so we are shielded from the full value of our lives. Each of us, like the packaged food on the supermarket shelf, has a Use by date. And none of us know what it is.
But this knowledge should not make us gloomy. Instead it should make us ask a question, what am I going to do with the time I have?
Its not about success, making money, or having more things. The biggest contribution we can each make to the other, to the world around us is making a difference, about doing something significant. A lasting change for the better.
Today and every day, as you go about your business, whether its mundane or extraordinary. Ask yourself what am I doing to make a difference? That surely, is the best thing each of us can do with the precious gift of each 24 hours.
On the day I ask whether I really have to go to that meeting the answer is unfortunately "yes!" The Lord God Almighty has a richly developed sense of irony.
I really must sort my diary out better. Now I have to take the family on holiday after Easter and immediately come back to attend a meeting. As Winnie the Pooh would say, "Bother!"
Note to self and world: Dr Moose is a complete idiot. (Nothing that will surprise those who know me!) ¶ 9:39 am 0 comments
I wonder, when was the last time you asked yourself – “do I really need to do this?”
We are faced with the question each day, whether we recognise it or not.
Do I really need to do that job now?
Do I really need that second helping?
Do I really need to be at that meeting?
Sometimes the answers are clear and straightforward. I don’t think I ever need a second helping, as much as I like them.
Sometimes a job has to be done whether you like it or not because others are relying on you.
But sometimes the answer lies as much in our own attitude as anyone else’s. The need to be important and valued is something deeply rooted in us. It’s about identity. Sometimes it’s about needing to look good, not for others, but for ourselves.
As I sit at my desk I can watch the traffic as it goes past. I see all those people who, in the poorest conditions, still drive to work when the advice is “don’t bother. Don’t go out unless it’s essential.”
They can’t all be doctors and nurses, fire-fighters and power generators, ambulance crews and the like. Some, yes, but not all.
What is it that drives them, and us, to feel that we are indispensable?
Christian faith understands humanity as “made in the image of God.” It doesn’t deny our capacity for error, failure and selfishness, but ultimately we are created to be pleasing to God. Each of us as an individual masterpiece.
The next time you are challenged with doing something because it makes you look good to yourself, stop. Look in the mirror. See the child of God there. Loved for who you are.
Once you’ve done that you should have a far clearer answer to the question of need. ¶ 8:43 am 0 comments
And a very well-off one at that.
Even so last year’s revelation that it is the wealthiest post code in the UK came as something of a shock. But what difference does that make on a human level? Forget the size of house, the prestige of the car and the holiday destination – what about the person?
Average Anne doesn’t seem to be any happier than anywhere else.
Normal Nigel doesn’t seem to have noticeably more leisure time than Non-resident Norman.
Far from it – the work hours that many put in seem to be longer and more demanding.
So, if it doesn’t make you happier or give you more time, what’s all the income for?
I suspect that the reason there is so much money about is because it is needed to maintain the lifestyle, and the mortgage, and the dream.
My boss, Jesus, has a lot to say about individual value, and values of the individual. His stories speak more about normal things like our attitudes to money, than about the “religious” ones, like Heaven & Hell.
Material wealth, “Mammon” to use that strange old word, is actually compared to a slave master. The more we own, the more it owns us.
In practical terms - the more we have, the less of it we seem to have left after paying up to cover our commitments.
So the question to ask yourself today is “What seems to own me and eat into my joy and freedom? What am I a slave to?”
And more to the point, what are you going to do about it?
This principle of loving your neighbour, wanting the best for those around you, is usually recognised as a key moral virtue, even if you disregard any other parts of the Christian faith.
And it’s something you do best if you know how to love yourself.
Unfortunately “Loving yourself”, has some pretty negative connotations. Of being “precious” or “selfish.” It can be a self-obsession that rides rough-shod over the thoughts, felling s and needs of others.
At it’s best though, “loving yourself” means to see yourself as you really are. It doesn’t mean you have to hide your faults and imperfections. I know that I have plenty of them. It doesn’t mean that you say they don’t matter and deny the need for change.
But “loving yourself” is also about recognising the good as well as the bad. You may have tremendous capacity to cause harm, but you also need to see the potential you posses to do good, and accept to that as much as your “Darker” side.
Only by knowing something of who you really are can you genuinely deal with both praise and criticism – and they won’t make you either proud and over-bearing or hurt and defensive.
From the security of “loving yourself” you can see all the better how to love your neighbours, and how to go beyond that - to obey the other half of Jesus statement about behaviour. To love the God who made each one of us, with all that you are, all that you have, and all that you could be.
